Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize