quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
