Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
