So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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