Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
