this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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