Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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