can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
