I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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