I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
