My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
