What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
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I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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