tell your sister to shave her snatch
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
