I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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