You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
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