I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
