Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
