I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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