It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
