so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
