dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
