why do cheetos always look like penises
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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