thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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