Can i not drive my cunt home
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
