you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
