Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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