i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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