Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
