Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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