the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This baby is an asshole
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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