Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
someone owes me an orgasm
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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