guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
