I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
