Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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