dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize