theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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