I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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