So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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