Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Someone came in the potted fern
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
