This dress was meant to end up on your floor
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
