You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
