glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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