my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize