I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
