We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
More tranny stories later!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
