I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize