"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
