That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
