Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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