He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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