If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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