I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
