I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
