I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
