Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
