Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
