sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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