I'm gonna have a badass scar
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize