She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
did i just pee glitter
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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