He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize